Here’s a weird flex no one asked for: I once felt guilty for buying a new set of towels. Not fancy ones. Just… not threadbare. Somehow, that felt “extra.” As if my bathroom had to reflect wartime rationing to prove I was financially responsible.

This is what I call money shame. It’s when you’ve trained yourself to fear spending even when the spending is healthy, smart, or frankly overdue.

Weirdly, It’s Still About Ego

Shame and pride are two sides of the same coin—both rooted in identity. When we tie our self-worth to spending less (or more), we stop making logical decisions and start playing defense. Defense against judgment. Against social media. Against our own inner Dave Ramsey ghost yelling about avocado toast.

How Shame Messes Up Your Money Habits

• You keep junk you should’ve replaced. (That broken blender hasn’t “still got life in it.” It’s just a projectile hazard.)
• You hide purchases from your partner. Yep, the shame spiral gets real.
• You guilt-trip yourself for normal upgrades. New walking shoes ≠ betrayal of your values.

Ironically, shame often leads to worse financial outcomes. You put off spending until it becomes urgent, then overspend in panic mode. You cut “treats” so aggressively that you binge later (financially or literally). Or you miss out on smart, durable purchases that actually save money long-term.

Enter: Money Pride (The Healthy Kind)

Money pride doesn’t mean bragging about a six-figure Roth IRA while drinking bone broth in your $2,000 ergonomic hammock. It means feeling good—quietly good—about the way you spend, save, and value money.

This is where the “smart splurges” come in. You don’t need to go full minimalist monk or fall into a friction-free spending trap. You just need a mindset that allows for intentional, values-based purchases without emotional hangovers. (If you haven’t read it yet, this post is your survival guide to modern money traps.)

Think in Terms of “Proud to Own” vs. “Ashamed to Keep”

Here’s the simple trick I use: If I’d feel embarrassed for someone to see I spent money on it, I don’t buy it. If I’d feel proud—even just to myself—that I spent well on it, I go for it.

Examples:

• ✔️ Proud: Quality mattress that fixed my back pain
• ✔️ Proud: Water filter that made me stop buying bottled
• ❌ Ashamed: That neon TikTok impulse purchase I won’t name
• ❌ Ashamed: Another $6 app subscription I forgot about for 9 months

This doesn’t mean everything has to be practical. It just has to be defensible to your future self.

Money Pride Builds Spending Momentum—in the Right Direction

Let’s face it: we don’t always need a bigger budget. We need better momentum. Small, intentional wins add up.

Maybe your towel upgrade doesn’t save you money—but it saves you micro-stress every day. That’s a win. Maybe your nicer shoes made you walk more, which helped your mood, which made you cook at home more, which helped your budget. Chain reaction.

That’s how people break out of lifestyle creep without boomerang guilt. Not by saying no to everything—but by learning which “yeses” are worth it.

What to Do When Money Shame Creeps In

If you feel twitchy about spending, ask yourself:

1. Would I be embarrassed or proud to explain this purchase to someone I respect?
2. Is this spending aligned with my values—or just someone else’s expectations?
3. Does this prevent more expensive problems down the line?

Now flip it:

1. What am I not spending on because of shame or fear?
2. Is that costing me more in stress, time, or energy?

This isn’t about justifying every Amazon binge. It’s about rewiring your mental budget so that “frugal” doesn’t mean living like a monk with a cracked phone screen from 2016.

The Anti-Shame Shopping List (Yes, Seriously)

If you want to build pride momentum, here’s a no-apologies starter pack of “grown-up splurges” that actually help your finances long-term:

• ✔️ A real vacuum (like, one that works on corners and doesn’t scream)
• ✔️ Basic meal prep containers with lids that actually match
• ✔️ LED lights that make your home feel expensive, not depressing
• ✔️ An ergonomic chair, mouse, or standing mat
• ✔️ Proper tools or equipment for any habit you actually use (not the ones you “should” use)

Amazon probably has all of these, but don’t buy them just because they’re on a list. Buy them because they pass the “money pride” filter—useful, durable, justifiable.

Final Take: Upgrade the Emotion, Not Just the Item

Most budgeting advice is tactical. But the real wins? They come from changing how you feel about spending. Get that right, and you’ll buy fewer dumb things, say yes to smarter ones, and feel good doing it.

No shame. Just better choices, with your own definition of value leading the way.