If just looking at your debt makes your chest tighten, you’re not alone. But here’s something most budgeting advice won’t tell you: you don’t have to start with the smallest balance or the highest interest. You can start with the one that stresses you out the most.

This is called the emotional priority method, and for a lot of people, it’s the difference between giving up and finally making progress.

Why Emotion-Based Payoff Works

Not all debt is created equal—psychologically. You might owe $400 on one card and $4,000 on another, but if the smaller one is tied to a bad memory, an ex, or a financial mistake you still beat yourself up over, that’s the one dragging you down.

Paying it off first clears mental space. It removes guilt, shame, or stress that’s been hanging over your head, which can unlock the energy you need to take on the rest.

“But Isn’t That Bad Math?”

Maybe. But debt payoff isn’t just math—it’s behavior. If the “smartest” method makes you quit, it’s not actually smart. The goal is progress you can stick to. And sometimes, starting with the most emotionally charged debt gets the flywheel turning.

How to Find Your Emotional Priority

Ask yourself:

• Which debt makes me cringe when I see the balance?
• Which one feels the most embarrassing or heavy?
• If one of these could vanish today, which would feel like the biggest relief?

That’s your starting point. Don’t overthink it. Your gut already knows.

A Real-Life Example

One reader had three debts: a $5,000 student loan at 4.5%, a $2,000 personal loan from a family member, and a $600 retail credit card. They chose to pay off the family loan first—not because it had the highest interest, but because every holiday gathering reminded them of it. That emotional pressure was more draining than the financial cost.

Once it was gone, they felt lighter—and more motivated to tackle the others.

You Get to Choose What “Progress” Looks Like

There’s no rule that says debt payoff has to follow someone else’s spreadsheet. This is your life, your stress, your brain. If you start where the emotional weight is highest, you’re more likely to keep going.

Need help picking a method that fits your mindset (not just your math)? Read: How to Pay Off Debt When You’re Not a “Debt Snowball” Person. It walks through alternative strategies that actually work when you’re overwhelmed or unmotivated.